Dirty South

so after sending out over twenty resumes and being entirely sick of my cover letter, no matter how much i change it up...

oh, a quick thought on job hunting. i don't think i've done something this depressing in a long time. not only do i read through the list of skills necessary and think to myself, i could do this job, i have these skills. then comes the litany of questions as i apply for a job: but is it apparent through my resume? will they give me a chance? why won't they give me a chance? am i not good enough? do i have any skills that anyone wants? what have i been doing with my life? why am i so undesireable?....like i said depressing. i understand why the process has become such, but i've got to say, that i much more prefer getting jobs though people that i know who know people and getting in that way, not this cold corporate way. but i didn't want to talk about that today, so sorry if i've depressed you.

what i want to talk about is a new business that I am going to start.

i am opening a clothing store, but not any clothing store. this clothing store is going to be about an image, i'll let that image speak for itself.

first off, i am going to have all the windows to my store painted bright orange, this is to ensure optimum success in this town.

there will be limited handicap parking, but there will be specific parking for trucks and any other SUV's.

once you enter this establishment you will see several sections:

• short pants: khaki will be the only color offered, but the short will either be a plain khaki or have the cargo look
• shirts: no t-shirts and no long sleeves. only polo shirts. now the polo shirts will be varied in color, mostly pastels, but you will be able to buy whatever color polo shirt you want, because well, you never know...
• hats: baseball caps, of any color and size representing whatever sports team you would want, doesn't matter, the only requirement is that the bill be a little ripped and perfectly curled so that the outside ends of the bill nearly touch. all of my hats will look like this.
• shoes: any kind of running shoe, but for the shopper who wants a freer feeling in his feet, we will be selling man-dals, any kind of comfortable male sandal.
• at the counter will be an assortment of hemp necklaces, braided belts and Skoal.
  

this is all my store will offer and i will ABSOLUTELY KILL IT. i will have the corner market on an image, the image of the south. just call my place, "Dirty South".

ps. i wish i could take a picture of the guy sitting next to me and place it in here, you would understand

dis-ease

i know that it has been a while since i got on here and wrote down ideas and thoughts. so many really and not much time to really have a chance to stop and to reflect. i'm glad that my life has slowed down a bit. i feel that this is fairly apropo given the part of the united states that i currently reside in.

since my last blog, i got engaged, married, i quit two jobs, went on a honeymoon, lead a missions trip, said good-bye to friends, moved out of my apartment, moved into my wife's parents home, moved out of their home, flew cross country and am currently in the process of moving into my new digs with my new wife and looking for a new job while starting up a part time gig on tues.

the past few days i've actually had a chance to make dinner, to read a book, watch my wife act, go and see a movie, to sleep in and go to bed early.

however looming over my head is this need to work and make money and that somehow i'm wasting my time and that i should be doing more, that there is someone over my shoulder looking at me and waiting for me to step it up. i spend my time driving around and looking at all the businesses around the city and wondering what i should to, where i should work and what would make the most money in the quickest amount of time. i feel this tension between doing what i want to do and doing what would benefit us the most, especially when i stop and think that we are only going to be here for two years and how fast two years goes and trying to make plans on moving to nyc and what that is going to cost.

for some reason i feel like all these decisions need to be made right now, at this very second and that if i don't that i'm never going to make them and things aren't going to turn out well.....so i again stop and recognize my need to control and my complete and utter lack of being able to control anything really, of the illusion that control is and that even if i did have a "handle" on it, i really would only have a "handle" on an illusion. so i wait, i hope, i pray and i rest on faith, faith that there is Direction out there and Purpose and Meaning.

"Follow me."